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The Long List of Poems

Looking back
over my shoulder, I don't see it coming.

In retrospect,
I don't know why.

I was running.
I'd been running.
Commonly, people asked me if I was in witness protection.
Often, people reminded me I was safe.
Occassionally, they asked why I was on the lamb.

You were right.
My life is empty without you, my glass, hardly ever.

You knew what it would do to me.
You knew my demise was eminent and you didn't save me.
Stupid laser pen and bat signal promises, just burned
holes in the sky and cats were running wild
all over the hills for some stupid reason.

You knew I was angry and you let it fester.
You let it get the better - of what, clearly,
we will never know.

You have got to be lonely.
Hopefully, more than me, not that I mean it,
but I think, it's only fair.  I suffer more.

I can't find my roots.
I have lost everything and no longer
search at the pawn shops, the classifieds
or elsewhere for the return of the past,
I do not seek what's owed to me,
I deserve everything I have.

I don't want to be here.
I can't ever go back to Los Angeles,
the idea of not seeing you,
or the humility of standing at your door
turns off my light and gives me reason
to go back to sleep.  I don't want to dream anymore.
But you haunt me, skull to bones.

I left.
Yet, you remain with me everywhere I go,
in every breath of air I jag, in each highway
we never traveled, on the radio, in my refridgerator,
you are behind every corner - waiting,
to sneak up behind me and make me scream.

I wake up,
I cry and take a shower.
It's a new day.  It's a new
day.

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